Learning Lots Lately

Good morning,

I will say that I am in a much better mood today than I was last time I posted, so that is a good thing. We are taking things one day at a time these days and we are learning a lot about ourselves and a lot about the people in our lives.

There is an old saying that you learn a lot about who your true friends are in a crisis and I used to think that this was a silly saying and that all my friends were true friends but Curtis and I are learning that are true friends, fair weather friends, acquaintances, and there are people who we thought were our friend and now we see that we they are not the type of people we want in our lives.

Another lesson that I have learned is that people like to talk about the misfortune of others. Some people even feel like it is appropriate to laugh about it. Let me be the first to say that I have been guilty of gossiping in the past but I learned my lesson the hard way and lost some good friends and due to that I haven't gossiped in quite sometime. I know that I might not have been the nicest person and probably deserve what is coming our way. However, my children did nothing to deserve the snide remarks and looks that have been made or given since all of this happened. So I would suggest that if you have nothing nice to say then you say nothing at all, that is the rule at the Hannah house!

I am also learning that I need to clarify one major thing. In my last post it sounded like I was panicking because of the loss of income but I need to say that I have no doubts that we will make this work finically it is the loss of a place to live for me and my children that scares me the most.

But the most important lesson that I have learned is that we are strong and we will be all right and that no matter where we land we will be together and surrounded but people who love and support us.

Sorry if it sounds like I am on a soapbox but just wanted to lay it all out there.

Extremely Hard and Incredibly Devastating

Dear Friends and Random Readers,

Happy rainy Thursday! I will apologize for this post in advance, there is a pity party going on over here so if you don't want to hear it read no further.

The life of the Hannah family was turned upside down on Monday of this week. You see Curtis was terminated from his job of the last 8 years. I will not go into specifics of this situation but will say that I think that this was an unfair and unfortunate situation. Not only are we dealing with the loss of Curtis' job we are processing the news that since we live in the building where he was employed we have a mer 30 days to find a new place for us and our children to live, so needless to say there is a little bit of stress going around this place this week.

Curtis and I have both had so many emotions this week and I will say that I am the more emotional of the two of us. I have been panicked, hysterical, sad, mad, motivated, and focused all at the same time. But today I am just plain depressed, I know that people loose their jobs every day and that this is not something new to the world (especially with the job market like it is today), and I know that this could be a blessing in disguise. I know these things in my head but my head is not making my heart understand. You see we had a pretty sweet life here we are living in a historical home in the heart of a quaint little town, which has always been a dream of ours. Many people want nice new homes but our dream home would be a historical home that we could renovate and restore to its original glory. The other blessing about where we live is that my best friend and her beautiful daughter live in one of the upstairs apartments. We hang out together a lot and now I feel like I am never going to get to see them. I know that is not the case but it is how I feel.

All of this sense of loss hit me yesterday as we started to pack our things once again. Then I started to get angry because our children have had so much loss in their short little lives and now they are on the move again. I realized that they are just now sleeping through the night here and now we are going to move them to another environment only to move them again when Curtis gets a job and we know where we will settle. At this point the sense of loss turned to anger and that is not a good place for me to go, it is not fair to Curtis, Hensley or Hollis.

I feel like my whole life is spinning out of control and there is nothing that I can do to stop it. For those of you who didn't know I am a bit of a control freak so the whole life spinning out of control thing STRESSES me out. I HATE not having a plan and not knowing what is going on in my life, this is why our adoption process was so hard on me. I know that I need to let go and let GOD and I am trying, but I am just having a heard time with that today and needed a place to vent and let it be known that I am struggling.

Thankful Thursday..

Okay, I know I have been doing a really bad job with my Thanksgiving Challenge, so here goes the catch up version.

Nov. 5,- Today I am thankful for my sweet and thoughtful husband. Even after he has worked all weekend on the audio and video for a Mary Kay event he was thoughtful enough to surprise me with a massage and a family date night.

Nov. 6- Today I am thankful for the Salvation Army Church because they listened to me share our adoption story through the tears. Many of you know the bones of our story but we had never shared out story publicly until today. Many of you know that I am an emotional person and today was no different that most. I started crying as soon as I stepped foot on the podium, but these sweet people listen intently even when I couldn't stop crying.

Nov. 7- Today I am thankful for an amazing baby sitter. Those of you who know me know that I talk about how great our sitter is often but I can't help it. She is simply amazing. She loves our children like they were her own and they love her very much. She comes to our home 3 days a week and when she is here she not only watches the kids but she does the dishes, does laundry, and even some light cleaning. Then there are times that she goes above and beyond, for example she cleaned our house from top to bottom, washed the bed linens, and stocked the fridge with groceries while we were gone on vacation. I can honestly say that if it were not for Shana I would go insane.

Nov. 8- Today I am thankful for my amazing mom. Yes, mom I know that you are reading this and I know that I do not say it enough but I am so very thankful for you and how you raised me. You have taught me to think outside of the box and to not be afraid to meet the challenges head on. I hope that one day I can be as good of mom as you have been to me.

Nov. 9- Today I am thankful for my job and the flexibility that it gives me. Not only is it completely rewarding and fulfilling it is extremely flexible so that I only have to work 3 days a week and still get to help build forever families.

Nov. 10- Today I am thankful for Curtis' job, yes you read that correctly. I know that I complain about him being gone all the time or the fact that he is ALWAYS on call but the truth is he works very hard and he is good at his job. It gives him a sense of pride and purpose and he thrives on that...and the perks that come along with the job aren't bad either... ha ha just teasing.

Nov. 11- Today I am thankful for my mother-in-law. She is loving and helpful. She loves the kids more than anything in the world. She is always stopping by to see them and most anytime we are in a pinch she is willing to spend time with them so Curtis and I can get whatever we need done accomplished.

Nov. 12-Today I am thankful that 2 years ago today we legally became Hensley's parents. Two years ago today was out court date in Ethiopia and we passed making us legally Hensley's parents.

Nov. 13- Today I am thankful for all our friends and family who have been so supportive of our adoption journey. They have done everything to show their love and support along the way. We are thankful for every dollar that they donated, the time that they spent praying for us, our journey and our children, we are thankful for the shoulders they gave us to lean on during the bad days and the smiles and hugs they gave us on the good days.

Nov. 14- Today I am thankful for our health. Hollis is sick today with the stomach bug and I am reminded just how lucky we are that this has been the only time since she and Hensley came home that either of them have been really sick. Sure we have had runny noses, coughs, and bumps and bruises but we have not had anything seriously or major wrong.

Nov. 15- Today I am thankful for sweet families that send me a precious picture of their new forever family when I am needing a reminder of why I do the job that I do. Don't get me wrong I know that I am extremely blessed to have a such an amazing job but there are days when you wonder why you do the things that you do and today was one of those for me.

Nov 16- Today I am thankful for my friend Jaime. She knows just how to make me smile on a bad day and how to celebrate with me when it is a good day. I can honestly say that my life would not have been the same without you Woo Woo!

Nov 17.- Today I am thankful for the difference a forever family and a lot of love have made in Hollis' life. I took her for her 2 year well child checkup and she weighted 32 lbs and was 36 inches tall. She has grown an astounding 22 inches and gained 23 pound in the 23 months since we first saw her face and read her medical report.

Well there you have it the shorten and condensed version. We all know that I could have written much more about each and every one of these topics but I really must get some work done today. I will also try to do better about staying focused on my Thanksgiving challenge as long as you guys keep coming back to read about our crazy family.

Blessings Day 4

Today I am thankful for bedtime snuggles from Hensley and Hollis. Nothing melts away the stress of a bad day faster than snuggling with the kids. The moment when they curl up in my arms makes me forget about the day no matter how good or how bad. Those snuggles remind me that there are bigger things in the than me and whatever issues I had that day. Those snuggles remind me that no matter what I did right or wrong that day tomorrow is a new day so I might as well take some time and enjoy snuggling with my babies.

30 days of Thanksgiving

Every November I see everyone posting on Facebook what they are thankful for so I thought that I would take the opportunity to share what I'm thankful for, while trying to make blogging a habit...so here goes.

November 1- I am thankful for my amazing group of friends. They are the most diverse group of people but they are the most loving and supportive group you will ever meet.

November 2- I am thankful for Hensley and Hollis' birthmothers. I think of them daily and am eternally grateful for the opportunity they have given me.

November 3- I am thankful for our "Bailey" family. This loving group of people have taken me, Curtis, and our kids into their hearts and home. They treat us as if we have always been a part of their family. Their love and support has gotten us through some of our hardest days.

There you have it see you tomorrow.

Then there were Three...

Yes, you read that correctly...Three. Okay before you panic or become overwhelmed with joy (depending on who you are) let me explain. Part of the reason I have been absent from the blogging world for so long is because our family has grown and we have all been adjusting. Again you read that correctly our family has grown by one. We now have 3 youngsters in our home. We have what we have been referring to as the 2 littles (Hensley and Hollis) and the our newest addition (the Big Kid).

When talking about adding to our family Curtis and I always talked about adding an older child to our family the next time we decided to grow our family. Little did we know that God was preparing our hearts to do just that, but not in the way we thought. You see in June my little sister (with BBBS), Jenna, came to live with us. Now I will be honest and say I was not ready to have a 17 year old in my home for the next 15 years and it has taken some getting used to. Having said that I have learned a lot about myself, love, acceptance, unconditional love, and communication this summer. I would love to say that it has been all rainbows and butterflies but I will be honest enough to say it has been hard and it has tested and strengthen every relationship in my life.

I now know what it is like to teach someone how to parallel park, ride with a teenager when they drive on the interstate for the first time, what it is like to try to have a conversation with a teenager who LOVES to text, what it is like to set a curfew, and how to lovingly set boundaries. All of this was topped off by calling my mother to say " I just want to apologize for anything I might have said or done when I was a teenager." I have also learned several new words (some that I am not sure she didn't just make up), listened to new music, and dealt with boyfriend drama. But I can say I think we have survived the summer, as she is heading off to college on Sunday. I feel tears filling my eyes as I type the word "college." I never thought that I would be this emotional about her starting school but I am over come by emotion just thinking about it. I am proud of her and excited for her, but at the same time I am worried, scared, and a million other emotions. So if you wouldn't care to wish us luck this weekend as she embarks on this new adventure of college life and for me as I try not to have an emotional break down right there on campus when I drop her off.

In other update news Hensley and Hollis are growing like crazy. They are talking up a storm saying some of the cutes things ever and even saying somethings that we would prefer they not say. Curtis is still settling into the new job and working a bunch and I am staying busy which is a good thing. It means that there are more and more forever families in the world.

Well that is about it for now I promise to not keep you guys in the dark so long anymore.

What a difference a year makes

Today is Hollis' Gotcha Day!!!

This time last year my mom and I were in Ethiopia to bring Hollis home. It was a moment that I had been dreaming about since the first time that I saw a picture of her sweet face and had longed for since the moment I had to leave her there when we went to get Hensley. When I think back about the last year I think "she has only been home a year?" There are times when I feel as if it were yesterday when I stepped of the plane with her and other times I can not remember what life was like before we were a family of four at home under one roof. The one thing that I do know and do understand is how far she has come in a year. Last year when we took her from the orphanage her head control was not very good and she was not able to sit up independently. Now she is a typical 18 month old who is everywhere and saying everything. Last year she was clingy and scared all the time and hardly ever smiled. Now she is loving and happy and smiles ALL the time. She is full of personality and spunk, when I think of the years to come I know that we are in for a wild ride with this one but it is a ride that I look forward to and feel blessed to be a part of. We are very thankful that God chose us to be the parents of this beautiful little girl. Here is a snap shot of her last year at home with us, we hope you enjoy.

Her Gotcha Day in Ethiopia she was so serious.

Last summer she loves being outside

Last fall we started to see more of her personality come out.

Her first Birthday

Her first experience with the snow (she hated it)

Just one of her many funny faces.

Our happy, smiley, funny girl one year later.

Happy Gotcha Day Hollis Bachu we love you very much!!!